


Thigh High

by Kushimani



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: But also horrified, Crack, From a prompt I posted in the CoS Discord server, Harry is Amused, M/M, This is pure crack, Tom is horrified, i'm not even joking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29365017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kushimani/pseuds/Kushimani
Summary: There, covering Harry’s long, smooth legs, were the most horrifying things Tom had ever seen.Thigh high crocs.And Harry was lying in their bed with them.Tom knew what his new Boggart was.“We’re getting a divorce.” Tom said flatly.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle
Comments: 22
Kudos: 180





	Thigh High

**Author's Note:**

> omg why do I do this.

Tom sighed, running a hand through his hair. He took off his jacket and hung it up, then paused. A small frown marred his face. He couldn’t hear Harry moving around, as he usually was. Harry was usually quite loud. Had he gone out?

Toeing off his shoes, Tom headed upstairs, brow twitching at the creaking beneath his feet. Honestly… When he agreed to move into Grimmauld Place with Harry, he had done his best to clean it up, but the damn staircase wouldn’t be silent, no matter what spells Tom used on it. It was as if someone had cursed the very wood they were made of to creak until the end of time.

He walked down the hall, reaching their bedroom, and pushed open the door.

Tom paused.

Harry glanced up with a bright smile on his lips.

His eyes dragged down his husband’s nearly nude form, and Tom’s eyes stopped on his legs.

There, covering Harry’s long, smooth legs, were the most horrifying things Tom had ever seen.

_Thigh high crocs._

And Harry was lying in their _bed_ with them.

Tom knew what his new Boggart was.

“We’re getting a divorce.” Tom said flatly.

Harry blinked. Once, twice-

“ _What!?_ ” Harry squawked, emerald eyes wide behind round frames. “Wait, Tom-”

“You’re wearing _thigh high crocs, Harry!_ Who even created those- those _monstrosities!?_ ” Tom hissed, then he raised a hand to his chest, feeling as if his heart was about to stop when Tom realized another thing.

“Those are _lime green!_ Harry, what possessed you to buy those!?” Tom leaned against the door frame, feeling faint.

Suddenly, Harry burst out into laughter.

Tom stared.

“ _Tom,_ darling. Fred and George made them. They were a gift.” Harry muffled his chuckles with a hand, green eyes bright with laughter.

Tom exhaled raggedly, relief flooding him. “So you haven’t gone insane? You’ll burn them, right?”

Harry’s eyes glinted. “Well, I don’t know…”

Tom gawked. “You’re _joking._ Harry, dearest, tell me you’re joking.”

Harry began laughing again. “Yes, Tom. I’m joking. We’ll burn them. Preferably immediately.” Tom slumped back against the door frame, relieved.

…

“So, you _don’t_ want to have sex while I wear them?”

“Harry, I will get those divorce papers.”

**Author's Note:**

> These are the crocs, but in lime green.  
> https://ruinmyweek.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/thigh-high-crocs-are-just-the-abomination-the-internet-is-here-for-1.jpg
> 
> Dumbledore would be proud.


End file.
